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What is it?-poem-2

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Post  Xillie Sun Aug 24, 2008 12:57 am

Warning! i wrote this when i was like 13 and in eighth grade so it will probably be BAD. lol

What is it?

It rushes away
Fast or slow
We often wonder
‘Are we running low?’

You can’t stay with it
It runs ahead
We never think
‘Would it ever end?’

Taking notes
Remembering lines
Helping others
Not on mine.

It slips away
Changes lives
Makes you famous
Helps you die

Makes the best of friends
Or tears them apart
Most every day
It chills a warm heart


Most of it’s wasted
All is spent
We constantly wonder
Where it went

Gives a pretty face
A few fine lines
The monotony of it
Tells us lies

A few examples
Birth
Love
Death

Many believe
it will never stop
What, with Heaven and Hell
Why not?

In the best of times
Or the worst of the worst
Always remember
It will pay what you lack
Be nice to your neighbor
They’ll be nice back!


Last edited by Xillie on Sun Aug 24, 2008 1:01 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Xillie Sun Aug 24, 2008 12:59 am

I was describing TIME. (well. as well as a 13-year-old can grasp the meaning of it...)

So the answer is:
TIME
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Post  Sheakhan Thu Sep 11, 2008 1:24 am

I think this does a good job of describing time, minus a few stanzas in the latter half.

Otherwise, good show. Well done.
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Post  Xillie Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:45 pm

Thanks. yeah i don't like the last few stanzas either... but it's hard to just cut them out... and like i said.. i was 13. lol.
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Post  abuzzbuzz92 Sun Sep 28, 2008 9:01 pm

Not bad at all, considering you were thirteen when you wrote it. The rhyming was very off, but you couldn't be blamed for that. I guess I liked it because it was so simple and directly written. I will not give any suggestions because I guess you would not want to change it.
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