Leech -Prose- Gimmie a 3, peeps.

Defying's Notes: Yeaah, this one is not usually my kinda thing, but oh well. I hope you hate it, because I sure do!

So I’ve heard you broke up with him.

No, don’t start. Don’t even begin to tell me about him. You’re on your rebound guy. You’re on stage two. You don’t talk to me about relationships until stage three, so don’t jump the gun.

Stage 1: You break it off. Stage 2: You find a rebound. Stage 3: Both fail, and you come to me.

And don’t try shrugging off my help again. I know you. You’ll never shrug me off.

I’m like a leech that way. I cling when you pull away. Never more, never less.

Sure, you’d describe me as clingy, but you don’t know jack in the end, do you? I’m not clingy, I’m reassuring. I’ve been trying really hard to keep you level headed, to keep you aloft and happy in a dying relationship.

And when it died, whom did you go to? Not me, and I understood.

You like him, that’s fine. Go to him, wash away your fears and doubts with him, and keep him satisfied with you. I won’t stop you; I won’t make a suggestion about a better candidate for the position of Shoulder to Cry On.

That part in your life has always been filled. It always has and always will.

It’s always like this, when you move from one to another. You break it off with a guy; you go to your rebound. You break it off with him, and you cling to me, crying about both of them.

Any other guy in my position would be repulsed, but what am I doing? Clinging back. Because I’m the leech, when you try to get rid of me, I make myself more available.

These arms are too comfortable to give up, honey. I’ll wait for you.

I would agree that some girls(and guys probably) do not value those who have always been there for them. It is pretty unfortunate that the only time they seem to realize their importance in their lives is when they are not there. While reading this, I felt what you probably felt while writing it. "What the hell am I doing?! " I must say you did pull it out in the end. It would have been very cliché, hand you adopted a regular structure, but the way you wrote this was very impressive. I liked this line:

I’m like a leech that way. I cling when you pull away. Never more, never less.


Casual, but effective. If I could suggest something, I'd advise you to separate, more clearly, the writers note from the prose itself. No other suggestions, as such. Keep writing!



Abbas

"So I’ve heard you broke up with him."

I'd change that to "So I heard you broke up with him" instead. It's just easier on the brain. And there's really no need for that extra word (have) even in it's contracted form.

No, don’t start. Don’t even begin to tell me about him. You’re on your rebound guy. You’re on stage two. You don’t talk to me about relationships until stage three, so don’t jump the gun.

:] I like this part because this guy knows his place and he isn't afraid to admit it. It's almost like he's proud of it, and is insulted by the thought of changing up the routine. "You don't talk to me about relationships until stage three. Don't jump the gun" If you word it that way, it makes it sound like the guy is giving a command. I don't know if that's what you were going for though, so I'm not suggesting you change it unless that was your intended tone.

I’m like a leech that way. I cling when you pull away. Never more, never less.

Sure, you’d describe me as clingy, but you don’t know jack in the end, do you? I’m not clingy, I’m reassuring.

That part confused me, cause...first you say you're a leech and you cling, and then you go on to say that it's the girl that thinks you're clingy, and in fact you are not clingy, just reassuring. You see my confusion? You contradict yourself at the end there.

It’s always like this, when you move from one to another. You break it off with a guy; you go to your rebound. You break it off with him, and you cling to me, crying about both of them.

And here, now SHE'S the clingy one. Also, you repeated yourself here. We already know the stages, so I don't really see the point for the repetition.

These arms are too comfortable to give up, honey. I’ll wait for you.

The ending was spectacular. I love your use of the word "honey". I must say, it takes a lot of patience to realize what you are to a girl and STILL wait around for her to realize it.

Writing out of your element is good. It helps you improve all your other writing skills, so don't hate it. I didn't.

kryslee wrote:"So I’ve heard you broke up with him."

I'd change that to "So I heard you broke up with him" instead. It's just easier on the brain. And there's really no need for that extra word (have) even in it's contracted form.

Personally, I prefer it with the 've because it makes the sentence more complete and less "Americanised" to my British, British eyes.

Damn your british eyes you.... you... SPUD!!